The Devil I Loved: My Descent into Darkness + Spontaneous Road Trips

In this raw and honest episode of Travel Time Stories with Shannon, I share the beginning of my story with David — the man I’ve long called “the devil.” What started as charm and protection quickly became control, abuse, and the kind of toxic love that nearly destroyed me. This is the beginning of my descent into darkness, and I tell it exactly as I lived it — the good, the bad, and the ugly.

But life, like travel, always has layers. Alongside the shadows, I also bring you lighthearted memories of spontaneous road trips I’ve taken with Ann — from exploring the historic Bridges of Madison County in Iowa to an unforgettable (and disappointing) adventure in Hannibal, Missouri, the birthplace of Mark Twain.

Plus, I’ll share a simple but powerful travel tip you can use on every trip to make your travels cleaner and more comfortable.

This episode blends personal healing with travel storytelling — because life and travel are both about the memories we make, the lessons we learn, and the connections we carry forward.

👉 If this resonates with you, subscribe, share this episode, and join me each Monday for new stories of travel, life, and transformation.

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Transcript

Welcome to Travel Time Stories with Shannon. I'm Shannon, your host from Texas, and I wanna thank you for being here with me today. If you're new here, this is the podcast where I share real stories, the good, the messy, and everything in between. Some weeks I'll bring you along on my travel adventures, the shenanigans and lessons I've learned along the way.

Other weeks I'll dive into my personal life story, adoption, trauma, healing, and transformation. Most weeks I share a little of both because for me, travel and life are deeply connected. Both shape us. Both change us and both leave us with memories that last a lifetime. This week I'll share the story of how I met David, the beginning of my descent into darkness.

I'll also give you a great travel tip. And I'll wrap things up with a couple of spontaneous road trips I've taken with my sister Ann to the Bridges of Madison County and to Hannibal, Missouri.   So grab your favorite beverage and let's get into it.  Some darkness you can see coming.

Other times it slips into your life disguised as something good charm, love and comfort. And by the time you realize what it truly is, it has its claws in you. David, was that darkness for me? I've called him the devil for years, and not as an exaggeration. There are people whose actions can ruin your day, and there are people whose presence can ruin your life.

David was the latter for me. Being with him didn't just hurt me. It nearly destroyed me. Looking back, I can see the red flags were there from the start, but when you're desperate to be loved or seen, you convince yourself the warning signs aren't as bad as they look. You tell yourself you can handle it.

You can fix it. With David, those red flags became a warning siren. I ignored until it was too late. By the time I was a teenager, I was searching for belonging anywhere I could find it. I didn't know it at the time, but I was very vulnerable, a girl, eager for love, approval and validation. That's when I met David.

He was older. Charming in the way that makes you feel chosen. At first, I thought I'd found someone who really saw me, but what I'd really found was a trap. His charm was just a mask for control, manipulation, and cruelty. The abuse didn't start all at once. It crept in slowly. Subtle criticism, isolating me from people who cared about me, making me question my own worth.

By the time the violence showed itself, I was already tangled in his web. There's a darkness in that kind of relationship. Outsiders rarely see. You live in a constant state of hyper-awareness, reading every shift in mood, calculating how to keep the peace and knowing it will never be enough. As I sit here and remember, everything is washing over me and I see every detail, the good, the bad, the ugly.

It all bubbles up to the surface, like water during a rolling boil. And yes, even the good, you might wonder how could there be any good in this? But there was not as much good as bad, but enough that I clung to it. Sometimes I laugh at myself for admitting it. Good. Really, Shannon, you actually believe there was good.

But I know I'm right because every love story I've ever read from Pride and Prejudice to the strange, obsessive ones like Twilight and After all of them are full of shadows. That's how Twisted love stories work. They're not fairy tales with happy endings. They're complicated, broken, often poisoned, but they're still stories of love.

At least the version of love you convince yourself you have. That's exactly what my story with David was. Not the fairytale where boy meets girl, they fall in love, face a few obstacles, and then walk off into a sunset of happily ever after. No, mine was nothing like that, but it was still my love story, my version of what happened to me.

And yes, there was love. Maybe looking back, it was mostly one sided. Maybe it was never love the way it should have been, but at the time there was so much feeling, so much consuming fire that I couldn't call it anything else. And in some twisted way, I believe there was love on his part too. A dark, broken, poisoned, kinda love, but love all the same.

Demons are still demons, but even demons I think have the capacity to love, don't you? My story with David is dark, but it's not without light. Not necessarily a happy ending, but flickers of light. That would eventually guide me forward. So, yes, it will be awful because it was awful. But I believe what I've always been taught, it's usually bad before it gets good and this, this is where that truth begins to play out in my life.

 before meeting David, I'd been dumped by my first love Carl a few months prior, and I had fallen into a depression. I was only 16. David was 23. He had a good job, but was off on medical leave due to an injury. He was divorced, had a child, and was living in his grandparents' home even though he had his own trailer on their property.

The first time I saw him was at a party in Pickwick. I was there with another guy who I was just starting to get to know, and David was one of the many people attending the party. The guy I was with turned out to be a jerk, and I went to another room to get away from him. The music was going. A lot of people were drinking and dancing.

Believe it or not, at this point, I didn't really drink. I had only ever had a wine cooler and some beer in my life, and I had never been drunk. I was sitting on the couch and my eye was caught by this one guy who was dancing. His beauty drew me in. He wasn't tall, but he had shoulder length dark curls. He was tan, had this cute mustache, a little muscular, but he was wearing moccasin boots that made him look mysterious.

When he finished dancing, he came and sat beside me on the couch, panic immediately set in with my shy self that this hot guy was sitting next to me. When the guy I'd come with tried to bother me again, David stood up and told him to leave me alone. In that moment, he looked like a protector. David sat back down and I mumbled, thank you, and he turned to me and said, my name is David.

What's yours? For a moment I couldn't speak. My thoughts were, did this hot guy really wanna know me? Then I found my voice and said, Shannon, nice to meet you. He smiled and those dimples lit up his face. I had to leave shortly after that, and on my way out, he called out, see you around. So my first impression of him was as a protector with a little mysteriousness.

I wouldn't see him again for a few weeks. I didn't know it yet, but that moment was the beginning of my descent into darkness. Tune in next week for more of my story with David. Now let's take a little break for a travel tip. Always bring a pair of slippers when you travel. Hotel carpets may look clean, but trust me, they're breeding grounds for germs.

Not all places provide slippers, so I pack my own. They don't take a much space, so throw a pair in your suitcase or backpack. Sometimes I bring a cheap pair that I can just toss in the trash at the end of my trip. Other times I bring my washable ballet style slippers that I found on Amazon for $7.

They're easy to slip into a Ziploc bag, toss in the wash when I get home and reuse. It's a small thing, but it makes a big difference in keeping your trip comfortable and clean. Spontaneous road trips can bring so much fun and adventure, so don't be afraid to try one. This trip started when I was visiting my sister Ann in Missouri.

We were sitting around one day talking about what we would do for the upcoming weekend. We didn't really have a plan. We just knew we wanted to go somewhere new. That was within about a four or five hour drive. So out came the phone and Google Maps. We started tossing around ideas. Kansas, Oklahoma, Arkansas.

We'd been there plenty of times already that left Illinois and Iowa. And honestly, my first thought was, what the heck is in Iowa? Apologies to anyone from Iowa who may be listening. But when I started digging, I came across the Bridges of Madison County. Yes, the ones from the movie Ann and I love historic places, and we both thought it sounded perfect.

So with no real plans, just a destination, we packed the car, grabbed paper maps, thank goodness, because cell service was spotty and hit the road. Our plan was simple. Drive to Winterset, Iowa and visit all six of the historic covered bridges. They're spread across rural county roads, so it felt like stepping back in time.

Cedar Bridge, Cutler. Donahoe, Hogback, Holliwell, Imes. Roseman. Each one had its own character. We laughed our way through a few wrong turns and repeated my family's classic line. Well, you wouldn't have seen that if I hadn't come this way. Some bridges even had guest books to sign and notes left by other travelers.

One was at the end of a gravel road by someone's house. The people came out and just stood there staring at us. It gave us such weird vibes, especially since it was starting to get dark out. We got out of there just before our car almost got stuck by nightfall. We headed into Winterset for food and a place to stay.

That's when I learned Winterset was the birthplace of John Wayne, which was a cool surprise. My brother Mark and my dad were huge. John Wayne fans, so of course I had to take a picture. Unfortunately, the town was shut down for the night. That small town life for you. So we ended up backtracking to a casino hotel we'd seen on the drive Lakeside hotel and casino.

The only food open was at the casino bar and it wasn't great, but we made the best of it. We ate, played some slots and called it a night. It wasn't fancy, but honestly, that's what made it special. No schedule, no pressure. Just a weekend of laughter, history, and adventure. Now, not every spontaneous road trip turns out picture perfect case in point, Hannibal, Missouri, the hometown of Mark Twain.

Jeff and I were visiting Ann and we decided to do a little day trip. Hannibal popped up as a fun option. It had a cave, a lighthouse, and historic charm. At least that's what it promised online. When we arrived, it looked like a quaint little town. We stopped at the visitor center, grabbed some brochures, and got a coupon for Mark Twain's Cave.

So far so good. We went to grab lunch downtown at Rustic Oak Grill and Pub. The beer flight was good, but the food, not so much poor. Ann actually got sick later that night, and we think it was the meal. After lunch, we drove to Lover's Leap, which really did have an incredible view. Then we set our sights on the lighthouse.

What they don't tell you is that it's 244 steps uphill to get there. Let me tell you, I was not in the best shape at that time. Ann and I had to take several breaks while these two super fit people ran up and down the steps. Like it was nothing. We made it though, but only to find out you could actually drive up the back way.

To top it off, the lighthouse itself was gated, so you couldn't go inside. We ended the day at Mark Twain's Cave, or at least tried to. When we got there, the staff acted like we were bothering them just by walking in. They refused to honor our coupon from the visitor center and the price of $30 per person per cave, and there was two caves we felt was too high, so we walked out and skipped it.

By the end, we were laughing at how bad the trip turned out, but here's the thing, bad trips still make good memories. We still laugh about Hannibal to this day. Thank you for joining me today on Travel Time Stories with Shannon. This episode took us from the beginning of my story with David to a simple but powerful travel tip to spontaneous adventures that prove even the unexpected can create lasting memories.

  If this episode resonated with you, don't forget to subscribe. Leave a review and share it with someone who might enjoy it too. I'd love to hear from you. What's your favorite spontaneous trip memory? Was it a hidden gem, a total disaster, or maybe both? Send me a message, leave a comment, or email me at lamkintravel@gmail.com.

And remember whether in travel or in life, keep making memories that last a lifetime. Until next time, I'm Shannon and thanks for tuning in.