Breaking Free: Narcissistic Relationships, Boundaries & Healing, the Supernatural & Wine Country

In this episode of Travel Time Stories with Shannon, I open up about one of the most difficult journeys of my life: surviving a narcissistic relationship. I share what these toxic relationships look like, how to recognize the signs, and why setting boundaries is not only important but life-saving.

You’ll also hear a deeply personal story of survival that blends the supernatural with faith, reminding us that even in our darkest moments, the light is stronger than the darkness.

And because every episode also celebrates travel, I take you on a lighter journey to Missouri wine country — sharing laughter, wine tastings, and the joy of making memories with friends.

✨ This episode is about resilience, healing, and hope. If you’ve ever struggled with toxic relationships, or you simply want encouragement and inspiration for your own journey, this one’s for you.

🔔 Subscribe for weekly stories of travel, healing, and real life

#narcissisticrealtionship #healing #boundaries #supernatural #spiritual #hermannmo #winecountry #healingjourney #traveltimestorieswithshannon #podcast #tunein #gaslighting 

https://visithermann.com/visitor-guide/

https://hermannwinetrail.com/

https://thedollhousebandb.com/

https://stonehillwinery.com/

Content Warning: Discussions of abuse and trauma that may be triggering to some.

If you've been affected by anything discussed in today's episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You're not alone, and help is always available

Disclaimer: This podcast is for

informational and storytelling purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. The stories and reflections shared in this podcast are for connection, validation, and insight. Please listen with care and take what serves you.

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Transcript

Intro: Hi friends, welcome back to Travel Time Stories with Shannon, I’m Shannon your host from Texas, and I want to thank you for being here today. You know this podcast isn’t just about the trips we take across the miles, but also about the journeys we take through life. Today I want to talk about a different kind of journey – one through relationships that may look good on the outside, but inside can slowly break you down. I’m talking about narcissistic relationships – how to recognize them, how to set boundaries, and how to take steps toward healing and moving forward. I will also share a personal experience from a past relationship that has an element of supernatural and close out with a trip to wine country. This will be a heavier topic but one I feel is important because many people face it.

So grab your favorite beverage and let’s get into it!

What a narcissistic relationship looks like

Keeping it real I am still new at this and trying to find my voice and my footing. In my mind I have rewritten what I was going to talk about today several times. I have felt compelled to talk about relationships, my expertise comes only from my own personal experiences over my 50 plus years of life. During that time, I have gone through a plethora of different types.

Narcissists often make you feel like you’re the problem. They twist words, they gaslight, and they create this cycle where you question your own reality. I remember times when when I thought, “Maybe I’m too sensitive…maybe I should try harder.” But the truth is, no matter what you do, it’s never enough for someone who thrives on control. They appear to be great people, but they are emotionally immature and incapable of having healthy communication. These types of people have been this way their whole life, it is believed to be caused by genetics, early life experiences, and environmental influences such as parenting. Both neglectful parenting and overindulgent parenting have been linking to narcissism especially in males. I read something today that was spot on “They tend to go to both extremes (being cruel to being nice) and this causes cognitive dissonance in their victims. When you see two opposite characteristics in a person it confuses you. Makes you question are they good or are they bad? Most times you choose to believe they are good and dismiss all the bad you see because it is too painful and overwhelming to believe the worst in people and your confused brain can’t comprehend a person being both things at once.” When you’re in these relationships you spend all your time walking on eggshells for fear of what could set them off, because it is never the same thing. We grab on to these “good times” which really is just when they are calm and not exploding and form a trauma bond to these times.

I never thought I would find myself in this type of relationship. I had body insecurities but always felt mentally strong and that I was not easily manipulated. Wrong! It doesn’t matter if you’re strong or think you can’t be manipulated because it can happen to anyone. We all go through times in our lives when we are down, exposed, or vulnerable and it is during these times when you are susceptible to manipulation. Abusers and manipulators who take advantage of you are good at hiding their true selves until you are in too deep. Because of your vulnerability the red flags that might appear don’t stand out like they do when you are in a good place. After you are in it and they remove their mask, then you don’t know what to do because they slowly isolated you from friends or family. The isolation happens in many ways so it isn’t obvious that is what is happening and some cases they will cause a situation where you feel that you must make a choice and that choice ends up pushing family or friends away. You feel so much shame, that even if you could reach out the shame prevents you from doing it. Mental abuse in my opinion is worse than physical abuse because no one else can see the mental abuse. So not only are you suffering mentally, internally it is causing your body harm because your nervous system stays on high alert, and you can never truly relax. Over time this causes sickness to your body. You end up suffering mentally & physically (either directly from them or through your own body breaking from the intense stress). 

In my relationship I experienced manipulation, control, and gaslighting. It started as a beautiful relationship, and he appeared to be my protector but slowly things shifted. The affection I felt slowly began to vanish and he was distant, sarcastic, and dismissive. He would turn small disagreements into full-blown arguments. There was constant criticism but the worst was the gaslighting. My words would get twisted and I was made to question my own memory and judgment. I was made to believe that I alone was the problem. His words and actions left me feeling guilty for things I didn’t create. Problems didn’t get addressed instead it was the silent treatment, the lack of communication was smothering. I was constantly pushed to my limits, after a while this truly does take a toll on you. For them keeping you confused, broken and questioning your sanity gives them power and you have to cut off that power.

The importance of boundaries

You have to set boundaries for yourself with what you will and won’t allow in your relationships. Know your worth, make it clear to others, and stick to it. If they refuse or continue to cross the boundaries you set then you need to leave and cut them off. People who love and care about you will respect your boundaries. One important thing to remember when someone crosses your boundary then you MUST follow through with the consequence you set for them crossing that boundary. Let me give you a couple analogies to show the importance and reason you need boundaries in your life.

1.       Boundaries are like locks on the door – you don’t leave them open for just anyone to walk in

2.       Think about when your traveling – when you are on the plane, they stress the importance for you to put on your oxygen mask first. Boundaries are like that mask. They keep you alive, they keep you breathing and is needed before you can help others.

Setting boundaries was one of the hardest things for me to do but once I did it was a game changer for me. Honestly, after I set the boundaries, it was hard for me to enforce them, doubt tried to creep in, but I forced myself to push the doubt aside and reminded myself of my worth and that I had to put myself first. I had to tell my “caretaker self” it was necessary and was going to be best in the long run. I had to start small by saying “no” to things, then moved up to limiting contact with those who couldn’t respect my boundaries and then cut them off completely if they continued in doing this, I was protecting my peace. Keep in mind boundaries will not change a narcissist, but the boundaries are still necessary for your own personal well-being and to help you break the cycle so you can start to see them for who they are and begin your own healing. 

1. Do not engage with them – they want you to fight with them, they thrive on this

If you want them to stop yelling at you, enforce your boundary something like: Stop yelling at me or I am leaving, or you can take it further and say I will call the police. Here’s the part that makes the difference YOU MUST FOLLOW THROUGH ON YOUR CONSEQUENCE! This is how they see you mean what you say.

2. Throw out your expectations of changing them – they have a personality disorder that you cannot change because they don’t think they have a problem, they see everyone else as the problem

You have to change by getting out of the cycle, let go of your fear to leave or be alone, don’t succumb to their gaslighting. They use gaslighting to make you believe an untrue reality. This is how they control you and prevent you from leaving. Things like no one else will love you, you’re crazy, your stupid.

3. If you leave and set a boundary of no contact – then you MUST stick to that, no conversations with them

They will try to find a way to have a conversation with you under the guise of a neutral topic but don’t allow it. They are trying to draw you back into the cycle and regain control. Any discussion with them should be with a third party present.  

Seeking help and moving on

You need to understand that none of this is your fault. Their actions are not about love – it’s about control. When you recognize this, you regain your strength. If you have ever been in a situation like this and got out, good for you, give yourself praise and make sure you do the work needed to heal and keep moving forward in your life. It is extremely important for you to do the work to heal mentally after going through trauma like this, it took me years and several different therapists to figure this out and get on the right path. Travel and support from my chosen family has been a huge part of my healing. Healing doesn’t mean the past didn’t happen. Healing means the past no longer controls you. That’s freedom. 

If you are currently in a situation like this, you are not alone, there are many of us who came before you and if we got out then so can you. Be kind to yourself and reach out for help, you can come out on the other side. If you cannot ask family or friends for help, then please call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788 or if you are in immediate danger call 911.

Make sure you recognize, set boundaries, and seek help. If this resonated with you, know you are not alone. Reach out, share your story, or just know that healing is possible. One final thought on boundaries when you pack for a trip, you don’t take everything you own – you choose what’s worth carrying. Healing is the same. Leave behind the heavy baggage of toxic relationships, and carry only what brings you peace and joy.

My last night with David

I want to share with you a very personal story, one that marked a turning point in my life. Many of you know I’ve spoken about light and darkness, and how our journeys sometimes bring us face-to-face with both. This night was mine.

At the time, I was in a relationship that had grown deeply abusive and controlling. I had already endured so much—jealousy, isolation, manipulation—but nothing prepared me for the night it almost cost me my life.

That evening, something felt off from the start. The energy in the room was heavy. As things escalated, David was no longer himself. His voice changed, his eyes changed—it was as though something darker had stepped in and the whites of his eyes turned red. He told me David was gone and I was now with Satan. In that moment, I realized I wasn’t just battling a person, I was battling something supernatural.

As his hands were around my throat, I could feel myself slipping away. But then something incredible happened. I heard my mom’s voice. She wasn’t physically there—she was asleep at home, but in her dream she connected with me. I felt her hand slip into mine. She told me to fight. She told me to call on the light.

And I did. In my mind, I began reciting Psalm 23: “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil…” With each word, his grip began to loosen. When I could finally speak, I began to sing “Amazing Grace.” The moment I lifted my voice, I felt the presence of angels surrounding me. They pulled me free, while holding him back.

That was the night I learned the true power of the light. My mother, in her dream, had reached me exactly when I needed her most. And God, through the angels, reminded me that no matter how dark it gets, I am never truly alone.

I walked away from that relationship forever changed. It took time to rebuild, to set boundaries, and to heal. But I share this story because I know many of you listening may be facing your own valleys of shadow. I want you to know this: you are stronger than you think. The light within you is stronger than any darkness. And sometimes, the love of those who care for you—the voice of a parent, a friend, or even your own inner wisdom—will break through when you need it most.

Let me give you some things to reflect on:

Have you ever noticed when your intuition  -- or even the voice of a loved one – nudged you to protect yourself? Did you listen?

Are there relationships in your life where you feel drained, controlled, or unsafe? What boundaries could you set today to reclaim your light?

When you feel overwhelmed what grounding practices help you call back your strength?

What does Amazing Grace look like in your life right now? Where do you see hope and light breaking through?

Just like every journey has winding roads, unexpected detours, and moments where we aren’t sure if we’ll make it through, my story was one of those valleys. But even in the darkest night, there was a map leading me back to myself – through faith, through light, through love.

If you’re listening and walking through your own valley, I want you to remember this you have a compass within you. Boundaries, self-worth, and the light you carry are all part of your map forward. Don’t be afraid to take that next step, no matter how small. 

Because healing – just like travel – isn’t always about the destination. It’s about who you become along the way.

Thank you for walking this part of the journey with me.

My Travel Tip for Today: 

If you are traveling to a place you are unfamiliar with and not using a travel advisor then make sure to really check out the area using google maps, reviews (although those aren’t always reliable because they are subjective as people gauge things differently), and put a call out to your friends on social media to see if any have been to that area and can offer recommendations or advise you of bad areas. You don’t want your trip ruined by booking lodging and arriving to find out it’s in a bad location.

Wine Country

Let’s wrap things up by talking about a trip Ann and I planned to visit Hermann, Missouri. Hermann is located off I-70 about halfway between Columbia and St Louis on the Missouri River. It is known as wine country but offers so much more. It was founded by German immigrants who found the land not good for farming but perfect for vineyards, so they covered the hillsides in grapes and began making wine. If you are unfamiliar with this area, it is a beautiful German town where the 19th century buildings make it a picture-perfect village. It is filled with many shops, museums, restaurants, spas,and of course wineries. Over 20% of the state’s wine is produced in Hermann that is over 178,000 gallons. My favorite winery in Missouri is located here called Stone Hill Winery, not only do they have some of the best award-winning wines, but they also offer a tour of their wine cellars & grounds and have a great restaurant on site. If you visit you must check them out. My favorite of their wines is Concord. Wine is not the only alcohol made in Hermann, in fact, there is a cornucopia of spirits distilled and brewed here. Everything from whisky, gin, vodka, brandy, beer, and cordials. You can enjoy seeing these get made and grab a sample on your next visit. Hermann also offers lots of events and festivals throughout the year.

For our weekend trip I booked a room at The Dollhouse B&B which is located just a few minutes outside Hermann. We loved our stay here; the full breakfast each morning was a hit. The husband and wife who run this place take a lot of pride in the home and love spending time with their guests and providing recommendations for the area. We stayed in the Trail Room which can accommodate up to 4 people and gives you private access to the balcony. This was our first time staying here but we loved it so much we returned another time to stay and booked the same room. We loved sitting out in the rocking chairs on the balcony each night as we sipped our wine. Each night we shared so many laughs on this balcony, drank some great wines, and made some crazy snapchat videos. Each morning we went down to a full breakfast spread to get us ready for the day.

We did a self-drive winery tour and tasting but several companies offer wine tours and tastings, so you don’t have to drive, they pick you up and drop you back off. They usually follow the wine trail and take you to several stops. When we visited the Hermann Wine Trail festival was happening and this is where 6 of the top wineries offer food & wine pairings. You must purchase a separate ticket for this event, and it happens several times throughout the year so check their website. 

There are so many wonderful places to eat here, especially if you are looking for some good German food but they also offer other types too. There are some amazing bakeries, and you must visit the fudge/candy shop. We ate so much junk food that weekend, but that goes perfectly with wine right! 

We also did Ziplining at Eco Adventure Ziplines which was a lot of fun. This place was in New Florence, which is a few miles from Hermann and when we visited it hadn’t been open for too long. The owner was super nice, and we enjoyed chatting with him about other places we had ziplined. This was a fun course and perfect for beginners, sadly I believe I saw online that it closed, not sure if that is for good or just temporary. At the end we got to take some fun pictures with a sign that said I Survived the Zipline!

Hermann is a great little place for a quiet romantic get-away or girl’s weekend! I have put links in the description for places mentioned and also the link for the visitors’ guide.

Outro: Thanks for tuning in tonight. Please give us a thumbs up. Hit the subscribe button, it's free, and share this podcast with your friends. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave me a review it really helps me out. Leave a comment below to let me know what you want to hear more of, share a story, or ask a question. 

Tune in on Monday for a new episode. 

I'm Shannon, and this has been travel time stories, keep making memories for life. Until next time. Bye everyone.